I've been home from the hospital since Thursday and I am still adjusting to things.
Not being home per se. That's been pretty easy. The kids are glad I'm home (their first words to me - "We're hungry. What can we eat?". The Hubs has been doing a good job feeding them. But I think they see me and think 'Food Source"). The pets are thrilled I'm home. Pippin the cat has been happily sleeping on my head and the dog just keeps checking to make sure I stay home. Yes, puppy - I sure hope so! Of course, the Hubs is very glad I'm home too! It's not easy being the only adult for six weeks.
But I came home with a lot of new meds, IVs, and - delightful - a medically induced (although temporary) diabetes. So I'm trying to figure out which meds to take on an empty stomach. Which to take on a full stomach. When to take my blood sugar in the morning so that I can eat the food I need for the full stomach meds without disrupting the empty stomach meds. How to give myself insulin (it's not that bad, it just involves a Chart, which is a pain). How to stick myself (again not bad but I goof sometimes).
I am also dealing with some serious light-headedness due to low blood pressure. So I get a liter of saline every day but have not figured out the best time to get in in order to get the least amount of dizziness.
I have another IV med that needs to be taken in the afternoon, along with one of the empty stomach meds.
Oh - did I mention I need to make sure my meals are timed pretty well because of the blood sugar stuff?
It's a bit dizzing. And a bit discouraging. A year ago, I finished my transplant and had the long 100 days of Super Restrictions. I don't have those restrictions now (hooray) except for some dietary ones. Which I must interupt and say how mad I am that I am missing strawberry season for the second year running. But I feel on some level like I'm back at square one. Recovering from chemo. Waiting on all these meds to sort themselves out.
But underneath all of that, I can feel that I am healthier than I was six weeks ago. Something happened. The chemo killed off Something Bad and the BOBB did Something Good. In fact, every single one of my doctors is glad that I have liver issues. That's a weird group of guys, but it means things are working. If they are working, then I have a good chance of beating the Scourge. And since beating the Scourge means living, bring on the liver issues!
I'll figure all of this out. It's going to take more time and patience. I wish I had a bottomless well of that but I don't. But I'll dig a little deeper and look at my long-term outcome and where I want to be. A leukemia survivor. It's a long road. One I never wanted to travel. But here I am and so I will put one foot in front of the other and just figure it all out.
