I am as ready for the hospital as I can be. Bags packed, house cleaned (thank you kind sisters!!), pre-testing done.
However, I still lie awake at night with the worry-worries. That huge Unknown
coming up. Will I be very sick? Will I feel like crap? Will I get a nice room? Will
I be lonely? Will I be bored? Will I feel well enough to be bored? Will I get homesick?
Will I miss my kids terrible (of course!)? Will they be okay?
All of this stress is making me hyperventilate. Not in the paper-bag type of hyperventilating,
but in the "I cannot take a relaxed breath" kind.
But in the end, the only direction I can take is forward. To quote Lao Tzu: The journey
of 1000 miles begins with a single step. I have 1000 miles to go in this odyssey.
My loins are girded. I'm ready for that first step.
Carin, Breathe as best you can, it's all that you can expect of yourself. (Easier said than done, I know.) Hopefully sometime today it can be that relaxed breath you so need and deserve to have. Yes you are ready for that first step and so many of us out here are sending you well wishes and feel good vibes. You are brave and strong, by necessity yes, but you are! But you are human and so breathe, cry, be nervous, be worried, breathe some more, cry some more, and if you can laugh and smile too. The gift of having your sister as a donor match is so amazing! :-)
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and love! Pam
You're gonna do great
ReplyDelete