Pain in the Neck

I got a couple of new holes punched in me yesterday - a Hickman catheter.
It's a port, or central line, in my upper chest so that they have two more places to infuse
medication.

I received a central line back in the stone age of medicine - in 1982. Back then, it was
a single line, and they inserted it while I was wide awake in my hospital bed. I remember
the insertion being very uncomfortable but I felt fine afterwards.

This time, the fancy Hickman catheter was inserted in a clean OR and I was sedated. This
means I was kinda awake. I could hear them talking and feel some things but was mostly
sleeping.

After the local numbing drugs wore off, however, I noticed it was much more painful than
the old-fashioned central line I got years ago. My entire neck hurts. My collar bone hurts.
I try to walk down the hall, but I am hanging my head like Quasimodo from the Hunchback
of Notre Dame because it aches so much. You have no idea how much you use your neck muscles
for just moving around. It's crazy! And the crazier thing is that Tylenol would help the
discomfort. But I can't have Tylenol (it masks fevers - a big no no here). Instead, I'm offered
oxycodon for the pain. That's just wacko.

Oh - the new line has a nickname, thanks to the iPhone's autocorrect. It's named "Elaine".

The nurses have assured me that the pain and discomfort are normal
and I will feel like myself again in a day or two.
In the meantime, please excuse me. I have some bells to ring.