The Gloaming

I have never been an evening enthusiast. For whatever reason, that period of the day
sometimes referred to as "the gloaming" is a dark place for me.

Here in the hospital, it's the worst time of day. I'm fatigued. There is no more sun, so the
room is gloomy. Dinner is usually done but it's too early to go to bed.

It's when the Looping starts - the Bad Thoughts.  For a period of about an hour or so, I feel
insecure and frightened.  I try to turn on the TV but this seldom helps. I will sometimes
walk the floor and do laps but everyone else's rooms are darkening too.

I would freak out about this more, but even on an ordinary Summer's day, the gloaming can
put me in a mood. I'm a Dawn person, not a Dusk person. Dawn fills me with happiness and
light. Dusk does not.

It's hard to know why I'm like this. It's hard to get past it. But, as with all passages of time,
the Gloaming does disappear each day into full nightfall. When it's fully dark, I can feel
cozy and safe again. I can gather my strength again to face another day.